Great Scott           Friday 13th    Nantwich

 

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Up for it were

Yup, Pedro, Lionel Richee, Craigee, Granpop Bill, Keithees up for it, DCeen, McCeen, Ax, Scott free and Hugemungous

 

 

The usual bubbly Kev and his ten seater minibus was ordered for this trip, picking up at Penkhull and the Westbury.  It didn’t take long for his fixed grin to waiver as he realised his mission was to drop us off at Aston, and not Nantwich town centre, a further 6 miles.  He was obviously stressed out as Yup later revealed his previous text requests to him and he acknowledged the error of his ways. 

 

His sat nav couldn’t detect Burtpore, or Bertpoor or anywhere similar, so I wouldn’t bother buying one if I were you; they’re useless.  We found a secret bunker down a country lane without any help from his sat nav but found ourselves going the wrong way, much to Kev’s amusement.  Yup wasn’t bothered cus he wasn’t organising tonight’s escapade.

 

Finally we arrived at the Bhurtpore Inn, only to find it was shut.  Now that’s never happened before!  Huge arrived, having pushed his wife at breakneck speed by car to meet us at 6pm.  McCeen also joined us by car, having experienced the Friday night mayhem on the M6 yet again.  He parked his motor up, which he’d return to collect on Sunday, and armed with his laptop joined us under the marquee where we waited for the pub to open at 6.30.  Who was organising tonight??

 

There were a few bods about sitting under the marquee in the rear garden, also astounded that the pub wasn’t open.  One chappie was woken from his slumbers on one of the tables.  He informed us that he’d already attended an earlier beer festival at lunchtime and after his power nap was gearing himself up for another session.  Good on him!

 

There was no need to rush as the big finger hit 6 and the doors finally opened, as there were several bars inside; each with a different range of real ales available.

 

Wagtail’s ‘Gold Ale’ was amongst the ales on offer along with Leatherbritches ales from Ashbourne which we’d shortly be visiting on the autumn office walk (when Mr Tahoohigh gets his finger out!).  Their ‘4/coffee’ was a pleasant change from the usual variety.  I almost sobered up drinking it.  ‘On the Hug’ was spotted on the board and Huge duly obliged.

 

Almost as obliging were the pork pies which we scoffed through to line our pits.  Scott-free, now a plumbing company employee, attempted to sell us boilers and loft insulation as he struggled through 2 or three pies smothered in mustard.  ‘If your old boiler’s letting you down, then it drops your ratings’, he informed us.  Well it would, wouldn’t it !?  It was obvious that his own plumbing needed a good seeing to as he kept dropping one, in between slurping pints of moonshine cider at 8% and nibbling at the pork pies and mustard.  Richees columbo anorak cum coat came in useful for wafting them down wind.

 

Speaking of anoraks, a real one was spotted bottling pints of ale and slipping them into his car outside.  Asked why, he said he wanted to try as many as he could off the list.  He must have a secret bunker of ale somewhere. Ha ha, we just might know where it is!!

 

As the evening progressed, discussions naturally arose again of future events.  Yup mentioned a Grand Canyon walk which had recently been on the tv and immediately 6 or 7 said they were up for it!!  Craigee on the other hand hesitated at the thought of a hot and sweaty walk without showers and toilets, but suggested completing it over the winter.  Scottee suggested Park Hall hills as an alternative, but there were no takers.

 

Ax, alias Wilton or Shake-n-vac, suggested a clay pigeon shoot for next year.  Maybe a challenge against the Stafford lads instead of the bowling could be arranged next year.  We must be good at something?  I’m sure we’d be better after a pint or two first.  If we lost we could just shoot em!

 

Granpop Bill was looking forward to being a double granpop in 4 weeks time.  In preparation he’d bought a new leather 3 piece suite which could be cleaned easier after they’d puked up on it.

 

At around half eight we headed out into the rain for the 15 minute walk down the country lanes to Wrenbury Station.  There were a couple of stops on the way for relief.  A dalek and other strange puppets adorned some of the properties, remnants of a recent ‘summer’ fete perhaps.

 

As fete had it, Craig was wist pest through by the time we got to the station.  I know it was raining Craigee but I didn’t organise tonights do, so you can’t blame me for the bad weather!

 

It was a pretty little station, with just one shelter which we huddled into.  ‘What times the couch coming?’ asked Keithee, obviously feeling weary. 

 

The train was spot on to the second and we were soon arriving in Nantwich.  A further five minute walk and we dropped in to the Indian Ocean.  First calling point for most was the single toilet but many took advantage of the ladies.

 

The meal was excellent and most cleared their plates, having avoided starters.  Even the manners of all diners had improved.  At one stage DCeen politely asked for some nan bread to be passed up to him.  See it’s easy.

 

House wine was rejected by some, although how you could tell the difference after several pints and a curry?

 

Sambucas and/or brandies completed the night’s festivities and the bill was settled before sauntering outside to meet Mr Happy and his minibus.

 

There were now 11 of us of course, not 10, but Kev was in a jovial mood and allowed Yup to take up the rear wheel arch position to Shavington, where Huge would jump out.

 

Down the motorway and the bus swept into Westbury Road where the Westburyites jumped out.  The bus continued before swinging round and coming to a sudden stop on the opposite side of the road where Yup settled the bill and the rest of the lads jumped out.

 

Ooh Betty, Scottee had left a deposit and Kev was going bolistic.  Yes, Great Scott had lobbed a chuckee and Kev chucked a wobbly.  He stormed towards Scottee, threatening to knock his head off.  ‘Come on then tough man’, came the reply.  Bish, bash, bosh and Kev leapt back on the bus and sped off at lightening pace to clean up. 

 

We were all gob smacked, but then so was Kev.

 

Oh dear, perhaps that wasn’t so great Scott.  That’s just about put an end to Happy Kev’s minibuses!!  And maybe the final straw for the squarry doos !! …… and then maybe not … Despite texts and offers to pay for the cleaning up operation Kev refuses to reply.  So …….. to new pastures.

 

As usual, the following morning was just a blur again and the realisation of the previous night’s event slowly dawned.

 

Keithee thought he’d lost his hat, his jacket and his memory, but by the following afternoon had found all 3 of them.  I’m just glad I made notes else I wouldn’t remember a thing either.

 

Never a dull moment !!

 

Regards

Yupmeister

(enjoy yer baltis)